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Saturday, 26 September 2009

  • life is a paradox, full of ironies

    sometimes i forget why i even have 3 blogs. a teacher once told me "i hope you don't have different faces, different masks for different teachers and different subjects. for a kid your age to have so many masks. i think it's quite scary." i couldn't agree more; just nodded my head and said "yes, it is scary." because i know exactly what that's like.

    irony is when i don't think you care and you don't think i care. but in fact, reality isn't much further from the truth. a paradox is when i want to embrace you, but i don't want to soil your clothes.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

  • pure phobia

    i don't want to think that way. i don't want to think that far. i don't want to know what lies beneath your demeanour. yet, i am compelled to find out. i know i won't like what i'll find. i know the ignorance is bliss. and that the truth will hurt a great, great deal. but it's also the only thing that's keeping this heart, mind and spirit from attaining some closure. my heart tears, and my eyes bleed. it's as though i have to tread across a minefield, just to get a glimpse of you. i hate this feeling. i'm neither floating, nor sinking. though it's really more of the latter. this ghost, this shadow, haunts me perpetually. there is not a night i sleep without it, not a dawn i wake without it. i wish 5 years wouldn't take that long. then again, it probably can't take any longer than this.

Friday, 18 September 2009

  • smoking gun

    i toss and i turn. i can't get to sleep. tears flow down my cheeks. i can't stop them. i smother my tears with my pillow. and my breathing gets difficult. my antique gun doesn't work. but the symbolism remains just the same. i pull back the hammer and point it to my heart. the trigger is tough to pull. but with a little more strength, the hammer snaps down.

    I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE SUCH A LOSER. IS IT THAT TOUGH? JUST TELL HER THAT YOU LIKE HER! FOR ALL YOU KNOW, SHE MAY NOT EVEN BE LISTENING. JUST TELL HER AND GET THE REJECTION OVER AND DONE WITH. AT LEAST YOU WON'T BE KEPT AWAKE AT THE STRANGEST TIMES. SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU CARED SO MUCH FOR SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAY. SO YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP BROODING OVER IT? WHILE SHE DANCES WITH ANOTHER GUY? TELL ME, YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, DO YOU? AWW COME ON. GET A DANG GRIP. YOU'VE BEEN IGNORING HER FOR THE PAST, HOW MANY DAYS? AND WHAT DID YOU THINK? THAT THE FEELINGS WILL JUST GO AWAY TOO? SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE NOT ONE TO FALL IN LOVE. YOU AREN'T ONE TO EVEN SPEAK OF LOVE. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S WITH HER. JUST SHOOT OUT YOUR HEART AND LET IT ROT. IT COULD ALREADY HAVE BEEN WASTED FOR ALL YOU KNOW.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

  • colorquiz

    Your Existing Situation

    Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

    Your Stress Sources

    Unfulfilled hopes have left him feeling uncertain and even a little fearful about the future. Needs to feel secure and avoid further disappointment; fears he will be looked over, lose his position, or lose respect. Has little hope that things will get better in time and his negative attitude leads him to place impossible demands on others or to compromise or bargain.

    Your Restrained Characteristics

    Current situation makes him feel unable to prove himself, but tries to make the best of things.

    Feels trapped in a helpless situation and is desperately seeking relief. He is able to find pleasure and happiness in sexual activity, as long as there is not a lot of conflict or emotional difficulty.

    Your Desired Objective

    Feels as if his hopes and dreams have been unfairly stomped on by others. Irritated and upset with his current situation which he feels is an insult to his true desires.

    Your Actual Problem

    Inability to reach his goals, he is afraid to create or pursue new goals because he fears the rejection and let down they may cause him. He is feeling anxious and escapes by withdrawing into himself and protecting his emotions leaving him moody and depressed.

Friday, 11 September 2009

  • cut

    you're the only one with enough of my heart to break it. you piece it together, then you tear it asunder. you have no idea do you. dang. why did i just have to fall for you :/

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djtansg

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    • Name: DJ
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